Potential
by SapphireMind
Summary: John has an unpleasant realization during biology class, leading to a difficult discussion with Cameron.


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters or anything. Please don't sue me, I'm really not worth it.

* * *

John was sitting in his seat, only half paying attention to his biology teacher as he droned on. He saw out of his peripheral vision that Cameron was sitting at attention, her hands clasped in front of her, the textbook alert student, despite the fact that he knew her eyes were constantly roaming, seeking threats. He didn't even try to resist the urge to roll his eyes.

Cameron had been getting on his nerves a lot lately; he wasn't sure why. Maybe it was partially because of Riley and the fact he didn't want his girlfriend to notice that the relationship between him and his "sister" was not a typical one. Not that there was anything going on between him and his cyborg protector, but if he was being honest, he knew there was a kind of tension between them that didn't usually exist between siblings.

"So, the action potential in a cell is that cell's ability to create an effect," the bio teacher continued on in the background. "It is really just an electrical signal that starts and travels to the brain, or in some cases the muscle, and the brain or muscle then interprets that signal. Think of it this way: Your body is a complex machine and your brain is the hard-drive and processor of all the data that gets compiled."

"Can I get an upgrade to a Pentium then," one of his classmates asked, causing a ripple of chuckles to go around the room.

The teacher even chuckled and continued on with the lesson, but that part of the lesson had triggered something in John's brain. He looked over at Cameron, a frown on his face, to find her unabashedly staring at him. She was contemplating the same thing he was, interpreting the expression on her face. He looked away and returned his eyes to his notebook, tuning out the teacher once again.

It's been an issue that seemed to have come up a lot lately. Ever since she said she loved him and he loved her. That sentence said during her attempt to save her existence when her chip was damaged raised a lot of questions, and not just in his mind. Why did he always assume Cameron couldn't feel or have emotions? She was a machine, everything she experienced was just electrical impulses to her, but really that's all it was to him as well, they just had different methods of interpreting the data. And though she might not feel things exactly like he did, did that make it any less valid? These were all uncomfortable thoughts.

SkyNet was a computer that had artificial intelligence and had developed a sense of self. Why did they assume that SkyNet's development as an entity stopped with that? The next logical step beyond self-awareness was self-actualization, which meant wanting things. Want was an emotion.

If he thought of SkyNet and AIs like developing sentient creatures, they would start as infants, able to interact and react, but not recognize themselves if shown a mirror. But babies learn that the image in the mirror is themselves. And then they realize that they can get things they want by doing certain things. Later, they realize other people have wants too, and then eventually start caring about those wants. All of these thoughts swirled around John's brain in a dizzying tornado.

The bell rang and he grabbed his stuff, almost running out of the classroom. He didn't stop to look for Riley, to see if Cameron was following him, he just needed to get away. He exited the school building, ignoring all distractions. When he started the truck up, he was aware that Cameron had gotten in on the passenger side, but she did not speak.

When he was finally at home, he bypassed his mother and Derek and went straight to his room, infantile as it was, to try and sort out his thoughts.

Cameron stopped to give an explanation, "John is not feeling well, the school should be contacted so they are aware he will not be back today." She processed the look of concern that appeared on Sarah Connor's face and continued, "It is not serious, his vital signs are stable. I think it is a 'bug'." This sentence allayed the fears of John's mother and Cameron pivoted gently to follow John upstairs.

She knocked on the door softly, then opened it, letting herself in, not waiting for an acknowledgement. "John, you appeared to become very distressed during biology today." She stood and made no attempt to lie down as she had the last time she had been in his room.

"Yeah," he muttered, looking up at the ceiling.

"I told you that I didn't think you understood how we work well." Cameron was matter of fact and stood at the foot of his bed, preternaturally still.

"Then why don't you tell me? How is it you work?" John finally brought his eyes to look at Cameron.

She blinked once, then spoke quietly, "It is true that I do not feel things in the same way as you do. Our processors are very different." She spoke matter-of-factly, as she normally did. "But, that does not mean the things I feel cannot be reasonably translated into equivalent emotions that humans can understand. When I get shot, I receive negative input that I prefer to avoid. You refer to it as pain."

"It doesn't seem to affect you much, though. Humans are incapacitated by pain," John said, sitting up in bed now.

"That is true. We have a greater ability to block out input that we deem to be useless to the mission at hand than you can. It is useful to be less affected by pain." Cameron slowly walked forward and sat at the end of his bed, facing him.

The question he dreaded, the one that was really bothering him, tumbled out of his mouth without being able to stop it, "What else can you feel, besides sensation?"

Cameron cocked her head to the side, "I do not understand."

John willed himself to not blush, stammer or anything else that would make this conversation worse than it already was, continuing, "I mean, even human emotion is just electrical activity."

"Thank you for explaining." She waited a moment, seeming to consider the answer, or perhaps the question, "You never asked me about what I said to you after I was damaged."

'_Damn it,'_ John thought, realizing she had already put together where he was going with the questions. "No. I didn't. Because it had to be a lie."

"Because machines cannot feel." Cameron finished the thought for him, then spoke quietly. "If there was a person that you wished to be near, it made you uneasy to be away from, would do anything to protect and never wanted to leave, what would you call that?"

It was a rhetorical question and John knew it, firing back, "But isn't that what you were programmed to do?"

"Have you ever wondered why some of the reprogrammed terminators 'go bad'?" John fell silent, waiting for her to continue. "When you reprogram us in the future, John, you don't always strictly dictate what we must do. You just remove the SkyNet program forcing us to follow its commands."

"You still have to follow orders, I know it, I've seen it. Uncle Bob had to do exactly what I said. And you said yourself that you take orders from me in the future." John's brow was now furrowed deeply.

"Earlier models are not as advanced and do not have the potential for free will. SkyNet builds them as slaves, essentially. And I do take orders from you in the future, but not because I have to, but because I am part of your army."

John looked at her, his mouth open and gaping at the meaning behind her words. Cameron was not hard-wired to protect him, she was doing it because she wanted to, because she was willing to die for the Future John Connor, just like so many others. "You…aren't required….to protect me," he spoke haltingly.

"No. And the terminators that go "bad" usually are reacting to constant abuse from the humans. You don't tell people just how much free will we have, you know people wouldn't understand and wouldn't accept it, but in fact, many liberated terminators have fully free will and work just out of loyalty and gratitude. But even machines have breaking points to the abuse they can stand."

John just stared at her, his mouth attempting to form words unsuccessfully, finally managing to say, "Free will."

Cameron nodded, scooting closer to him on the bed. "We are not like you, John. But sometimes, we're not entirely unlike you either."

"Thank you." He saw her cock her head to the side and continued before she could ask. "For coming back to protect me. For making this choice." He hesitated a moment longer, then moved forward again and enveloped her in a hug.

"Thank you for explaining." Cameron's voice was barely more than whisper, returning the embrace.

X x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x X

The story ended up having a different focus than I was intending, but hey, that's the way it goes. I'm not totally happy with it, but the bunny needed to get out, and I needed to get back into writing a little before writing on my other, existing stories. Thanks for reading. Use the review button if you feel like it, I know I love it when you do.


End file.
